Introduction To the Mending Hearts Blog

From chaos to connection the healing journey with Melissa Kelley

Melissa Kelley

1/7/20252 min read

Hello, my name is Melissa Kelley, and my journey as a Christian began in my mid-20s. I had hoped that embracing faith would magically resolve my struggles with communication and the trauma I carried from childhood and early adulthood. However, I quickly realized there wasn’t a quick fix; healing has been a gradual process. Jesus has meticulously peeled back the layers of my brokenness, breathing new life into the desolate corners of my heart. His teachings have transformed my mind, guiding me through 25 years of faith.

In my early 30s, I met and married my husband, which brought both joy and challenges. Navigating our relationship often felt like two circular saw blades colliding, as we learned to try to navigate around each other's flaws. Despite the struggles, this journey has been incredibly beautiful and transformative for both of us.

Any Octopuses in the House?

I’ll be the first to admit it—I lean toward an anxious attachment style. I have identified as an "octopus in recovery." For years, using my eight metaphorical tentacles to love fiercely but also, at times, to unintentionally create chaos for those I cared about most. I was stuck in the push-pull dynamics of a chaotic relationship pattern—not because I wanted to be, but because of unhealed wounds from my past.

As I opened my heart to Christ and engaged in various healing communities, something incredible began to happen. Those raw, sensitive wounds started to heal. With time, the overreactive anger I struggled with began to resolve, much to my husband's relief!

Any Tutles in the House?

Speaking of my husband, he leans just a little toward the avoidant attachment type—a metaphorical "turtle." While I was busy overextending, he was retreating into his shell, longing for peace. He often asked, "Why can’t we just be happy and calm?" Looking back, it’s no surprise that anxious and avoidant attachment styles often attract one another. Octopuses and turtles seem destined to collide—but they can also learn to thrive together.

If you’ve ever struggled with attachment issues in your relationships, you’re not alone. You can learn more about attachment styles and how they influence your connections in my course, Calm the Chaos: What’s Under My Reactions. As a first step, check out my free resource, the 3-Step Guide: Build Deeper Emotional Connection. It’s completely free, so there’s no reason not to get started on your journey.

Through this blog, videos, and courses, I share the tools and techniques that helped my husband and I heal and grow. Also, the tools I use in my counseling practice to support others on their healing journey. Dive in and explore the resources available. You’ll find practical insights to help transform your wounded, broken places into thriving, healthy relationships.

Let’s start this journey together—toward love, healing, and connection.